Starring Rafe Spall, Simone Lykke, Thomas Gabrielsson
Cert 15
Directed by Adrian Shergold
Rafe Spall gives a memorable performance in this bittersweet fish-out-of-water comedy drama.
It slowly dawns on me after 10 minutes that Adrian Shergold also helmed Funny Cow, one of the bleakest dramas of recent years. He’s a master at constructing compelling dramas with characters trapped in joyless personal prisons. In this case it’s Herb, a 34-year-old Welshman with a knack for fixing things. But he can’t get a proper job, has an estranged son; he’s lost his welfare; has a neighbour who plays incessant music, and Herb’s diet consists mainly of cheap beer and mushy peas. Little wonder he’s so depressed.
Great Danes: Rafe Spall shines in Adrian Shergold’s comedy drama
After discovering Danish convicts live a luxurious life he could only dream of, Herb decides to travel across Europe with one goal: to get arrested and sent to a Danish prison.
However, after meeting Mathilda, a local barmaid, and a lovable stray dog who won’t leave his side, Herb realises that prison may not be his only chance to get the life he hoped for.
Though the film could become a generic romcom, with Herb drifting into a ready made family, it’s not quite so formulaic as that. As the tale unfolds, it’s hard not to hope Herb will do the right thing, but he’s a troubled soul. To paraphrase Springsteen, like a dog that’s been beat too much, he’s damaged by circumstances, and those wounds don’t heal overnight.
As with Funny Cow, Richard Hawley provides some terrific songs, and Jeff Murphy’s script never strikes a false note. With a star-making turn from Simone Lykke as Mathilda, this really gets under the skin.
At 91 minutes it never outstays its welcome, and the fact it left me hungry for more is testament to its success. Rafe Spall has long been one of showbusiness’s most in-demand actors, and this is one of his finest turns to date. Highly recommended.
The thought of a seventysomething Rambo seemed laughable in the 1980s, when Sylvester Stallone’s First Blood became a surprise hit. At the peak of his powers, John Rambo was a mesmerising screen presence; a grunting, often incoherent Vietnam veteran whose trip to Oregon to catch up with an old army buddy was met with hostility by the local police. It seemed extreme back then, but these days? Not so much.
Though a modest hit on the big screen, First Blood surfed the wave of the home video explosion. I’ll never forget watching it at school one Christmas while our form tutor made us all milk shakes. You never forget a great teacher. Of course the rest is well documented, from the mid-eighties when Rambo rewrote the end of the Vietnam war to the enjoyably silly Rambo III, when he fought with rebels against crazed Russian forces while rescuing his old army trainer. By 2008, he was hoping Matthew Marsden would take over his role in the woeful Rambo. The amiable Midlander didn’t, but aged around 72, Sly returned to the role in a triumph of stubbornness over common sense.
It’s essentially Taken meets Home Alone as Rambo spends the first act showing off his well fortified homestead to Gabriela, his friend’s granddaughter, so we get the lay of the land. “Why build all these tunnels?”, she wonders in a clunky bit of foreshadowing. Because that’s what John loves doing, and you wonder whether that might just pay off in the third act.
Over the top: Sly’s final stand
When Gabriela disappears in Mexico, Rambo decides to free her from the clutches of local cartels. So, following the inevitable scenes of Rambo being all zen and peace loving, he unleashes a trail of carnage, stabbing, slashing and breaking anything that gets in his way. I feel for any bloke who went to read the gas meter at the place where Gabriela is being kept. Inevitably the bad guys track John down to his home, and like the finale of Skyfall, with torture porn scenes of extreme violence, Rambo dispatches the army of imbeciles.
Yes, it’s utterly over the top (no pun intended arm-wrestling fans), but Sly has always known how to wring every last drop from a franchise, and this does exactly what you’d expect. At 89 minutes it’s the perfect length, and Stallone looks incredible, even if subtitles are recommended. The closing titles, which flashback to all the films, are definitely for the fans like me. I do wonder what the teens make of a seventysomething one-man army. Can the selfie generation take Rambo to their hearts, or is the sight of a pensioner gutting generic villains just too weird?
There are echoes of John Wayne in Brannigan, who was obviously playing the macho crime buster a few years before his death (slightly younger than Sly here). The villains are utterly forgettable, but if you don’t mind the ultra violence and ridiculous final moment, this is strangely compelling. Absolute tosh, but well put together tosh. But have a rest now John. You’ve killed every bad guy in existence. Get your slippers out and put your feet up.
As a TV addict growing up in the 1970s, I would watch almost anything apart from sport. Out Of Town was one of those little gems from the much missed Southern TV: a feast of gardening tips and wildlife chat with Jack Hargreaves (who was one of the driving forces behind Southern).
Everyone’s favourite TV uncle, a pipe semi-permanently lodged in the corner of his mouth, Jack was a quarter of the How! team, the show he developed, and which propped up kids’ TV for many a year. How? Because it was beautifully simple, like this show.
Like one of those Queen albums made after Freddie’s death, there’s a definite sense of crafting something out of odds and ends from the cutting room floor. Which is no bad thing. These vintage gems are bursting with tips about protecting veg plots from ravenous rabbits, squirrels and birds. The sight of Jack pottering around with a gorgeous black lab is a little ray of sunlight on a very grey day. And the second half of episode one is pure bliss as Jack spends an hour in a country lane poking at flowers with his stick while his narration informs us what’s what.
Jack Hargreaves: out standing in his field
I can’t help but compare this 1970s TV legend to a sort of naturalist Gandalf, with his beard, pipe and staff, and the closing shots of him on horse and cart complete the illusion.
From 1963 to 1981, Out of Town was a welcome break from the horrors of the era. I didn’t really appreciate it at the time. I was usually more interested in an episode of Gerry Anderson escapism or a cult drama like Children of the Stones that possibly preceded it. (No remote in those days and as TV was a surrogate parent, the telly and channel usually stayed on after my favourite show. Thank goodness).
If you’re fed up with all the awful news and depressing drama on TV, this is the perfect escape. Further Out of Town features restored footage of old episodes of the original TV series that have not been seen since their original airing back in the 1970s. They have been pieced together with new filmed interlinks featuring Jack’s stepson, Simon Baddeley.
He captures the same mood as Jack and does a fine job of filling in the lost pieces of this TV puzzle. Splendid stuff which should leave many a fifty something misty eyed.
Disappearance at Clifton Hill Starring Tuppence Middleton, David Cronenberg, Hannah Gross Directed by Albert Shin Certificate 15 By Roger Crow/@RogerCrow
After watching a string of grisly horrors in recent months, it’s a refreshing change to enjoy a good, old fashioned mystery thriller. Channel 5 usually screens a Canadian offering every weekday afternoon, and most are average TV movies about psycho surrogates/babysitters/boyfriends. This is far more enjoyable, despite a frenetic jazz soundtrack that is like nails down a blackboard in the first few minutes. (It becomes more bearable later thankfully).
The plot: following the death of her mother, Abby (Tuppence Middleton), a troubled young woman, returns to her hometown of Niagara Falls and the decrepit motel her family used to run. She soon finds herself drawn back into a mystery that has haunted her since childhood.
As Abby sets out to discover the truth, she must confront a local eccentric (David Cronenberg), convince her sister (Hannah Gross) and face her own demons. It’s one of those films that gets under your skin, and the presence of horror maestro Cronenberg is a great selling point. (He’s always good value for money in front of the camera).
Brit actress Tuppence has long helped prop up a string of international productions, and is terrific as Abby, the amateur sleuth determined to get to the bottom of the mystery. She lights up every scene she’s in. It also boasts a great sci-fi cafe, one of my favourite themed eateries. But there’s so much to it, just when you think you’ve got a handle on the mystery, there’s another curveball. In fact there are more twists and turns than the maze in The Shining.
Co-writer and director Albert Shin does a terrific job of keeping you guessing until the end, and the Fight Club-style rug pull in the third act will make you question whether Abby has imagined the whole thing.
I’ll admit I didn’t have high hopes going in, but this is one of my favourite thrillers of the year. There are no generic chases, apart from one leading up to a fun house, and there are times it borders on parody. A couple of showbiz stars chew every scene they’re in, though the thick French accents might need subtitles. I could quite happily sit through another mystery with the lead protagonist. Abby is worthy of a sequel, and with any luck Shin and his team will take her on another mysterious adventure.
Starring Emilie Piponnier, Martin Swabey, Chloe Boreham
Directed by Josephine Mackerras
Emilie Piponnier
Every so often France turns out mesmerising actresses in films that transform them into cult heroines. Whether Emilie Piponnier joins the ranks of Beatrice Dalle, Anne Parillaud or Audrey Tautou remains to be seen, but Alice could be the movie that makes her name.
She plays the eponymous happily married willowy soccer mum with a perfect blond-haired, blue-eyed son, and a husband (Martin Swabey), who kisses her so passionately at a dinner party, it’s a wonder nobody tells them to get a room. But any film which starts with such a wonderful couple is bound to go pear-shaped fast. When he goes to work one day, she dreamily goes out and wonders why there’s no money in their account. Now imagine repeating “denial” 100 times and you have an idea of the time it takes for Alice to realise hubby is not as perfect as she thinks he is.
Alice’s window of opportunity
Turns out he has spent all their money on prostitutes and they are now a year behind on their mortgage. In a last-ditch bid to support herself and her child, Alice becomes a high-end escort, which challenges her perceptions of life and love.
Writer-director Josephine Mackerras’ absorbing debut feature won the Grand Jury Award at last year’s SXSW, and the ‘Spirit of The Festival Award’ at the 27th Raindance Film Festival. I’m not surprised. Emilie Piponnier is terrific, and gives a phenomenal turn as the troubled mum, while Martin Swabey matches her with an at times achingly raw performance. And there are plenty of those.
Emilie Piponnier, Martin Swabey
A tear-stricken American punter’s interaction with Alice is hugely disturbing and very affecting. And her friendship with fellow prostitute Lisa (Chloe Boreham) helps the movie no end.
There are formulaic twists, but the whole thing is so well put together, you won’t mind them so much. Stroky chinned academics will no doubt debate the sexual politics of this until the cows come home, and there is plenty to address as Alice undresses.
Hypocrisy is a key factor, as is empowerment, and the issue of a mother doing whatever it takes to protect her family. Yes it will divide viewers, but whether you’re absorbed or angered by it, there’s no denying this is a compelling piece of work that sustains the attention throughout.
Starring Will Smith, Clive Owen, Mary Elizabeth Winstead
Directed by Ang Lee
When I first heard Will Smith was making a movie called Gemini Man, I hoped it would involve him turning invisible with the aid of a digital watch. Anyone who grew up with Ben Murphy’s namesake Invisible Man revamp will know the reference. Everyone else will be none the wiser. But no. Instead it’s more a case of Attack of the Clones, both in style and substance.
Will he find out who’s trying to kill him?
Will plays Henry Brogan, an elite 51-year-old assassin who’s ready to call it quits after completing his latest job. His plans are scuppered when he becomes the target of a mysterious operative who can seemingly predict his every move.
Owen a debt to his “dad”
To his amazement, Brogan discovers that the man who’s trying to kill him is a younger, faster, cloned version of himself.
It’s a one-gag movie that is ramped up by excellent action set pieces, including a breathtaking motorbike chase and some great fight scenes.
Will is as charismatic as ever, while the CG jockeys who created him Fresh Prince-era deserve a round of applause, even if there are times it’s so “uncanny valley” you’re dragged out of the story to wonder how they did it.
“Can I have a bit more to do Will?“
I’ll happily watch Will read the phone book for an hour, he’s so engaging, but it’s the glorious backdrops that almost steal the movie, whether it’s Colombia, Budapest or Savannah, Georgia. And then there’s the rest of the cast, some of my favourite thesps of recent years.
Cloning around. No? Please yourself.
Clive Owen, aka the best 007 we never had); the ever brilliant Ralph (Withnail and I) Brown; wonderful Benedict Wong, and the luminous Mary Elizabeth Winstead, who adds glamour, kick-ass thrills and exposition where needed. And the fact it’s shot in ultra HD at 120 frames per second means there’s a sharpness to the action scenes. Less motion blur between punches essentially.
Multiplicity 2
So all the ingredients are there, but why wasn’t I more engaged? Ang Lee is a terrific director, who knows how to craft great movies. Maybe it was the script by David Benioff (Game of Thrones), Darren Lemke (Shrek Forever After) and Billy Ray (Terminator: Dark Fate), which had been knocking around for decades and was just waiting for the tech to be able to sell the tall story. (Clint Eastwood, Nicolas Cage, Johnny Depp and Tony Scott all circled the project at one point).
Or maybe it was just that old truism that it doesn’t matter how great your ingredients, sometime (cinematic) meringues fall flat. It’s well worth a look, but it’s not the sort of film that stands up to repeated viewing alas.
Actor Ian Holm had a life which if nothing else, was certainly varied.
In his illustrious career he tried to choke Sigourney Weaver (Alien), was assaulted by a team of diminutive thieves (Time Bandits) and played second fiddle to a talking typewriter (Naked Lunch).
In 1998, when we had a one-to-one chat in London, he eventually caught up with Luc Besson’s sci-fi fantasy The Fifth Element, although he was hardly mobbed by adoring fans.
“I was walking past the Kensington Odeon the other day,” he told me. “I suddenly noticed it was on so I thought I’ll just sneak in.”
Alas, the man at the box office didn’t know the award-winning actor from any other punter. Holm asked if he did concessions for actors in the movie. “He burst out laughing, picked up the phone and dialled the manager and says: ‘There’s a bloke here who says he’s in The Fifth Element’.”
Holm finally got his free pass and an apology from the red-faced ticket man. “So I saw it with eight people and four of them walked out. It was a bit of hokum. It was all right,” he says modestly. “Bit of bubble gum.”
As you may have gathered, Holm wasn’t precious about the $70million blockbuster. After all, with decades in the business, he had seen it all.
Since first treading the boards in 1956, Ian Holm spent most of his adult life suffering for his art on stage and screen.
In the Sixties and Seventies, he was said to be the most likely successor to Laurence Olivier, whom he later worked with. Holm also played the Fool to Charles Laughton’s King Lear at Stratford.
In the early days, it looked like nothing could muddy Holm’s waters. Then during a London preview of The Iceman Cometh in 1976, disaster struck.
A sudden bout of stage fright forced him to walk off and he didn’t return for 15 years.
“To this day I have no idea what it was. Madness of some description,” he recalled.
During his period in the theatrical wilderness there were enough film and TV roles to keep the wolf from the door.
Alien, Chariots of Fire, Greystoke and Brazil were some of the biggest commercial and critical hits that made him one of the most sought-after supporting stars in showbiz.
“I did get to love film, obviously, because I couldn’t appear in the theatre any more,” he remarked.
One movie he loved more than most was Ridley Scott’s seminal sci-fi thriller Alien.
“That was a very good film,” he recalled, little knowing at the time it would turn out to be such a blockbuster. “Because it was made in 1979, I would have done anything then,” he laughed. “I certainly had no idea it was going to become one of the great celebrated pieces of cinema.”
Holm had fond memories of working with Sigourney Weaver in her breakthrough movie.
“That was very strange. I can’t to this day think why I got cast in that. I was one of the first people to be cast and then it was very interesting because I could see half way through the film the emphasis changed and there was the birth of a star in Sigourney. You could almost sense it. It wasn’t just the underwear scene,” he laughed. “I could just tell she was going to go on to big things. She’s also a very nice lady.
“It was also an extraordinary experience working with someone as tough as Ridley Scott, I used the word advisedly and also like Luc Besson much later on. They are both very, very tough directors.”
Chances are you’ll remember the scene where the duplicitous science officer has his head knocked off and then is reprogrammed by Ripley to help the Nostromo survivors defeat the Alien. While it may look like the art department raided the local Tandy for their props, the local greengrocer was closer the mark.
“After four hours in make-up, I was surrounded by spring onions and milk.” Holm grimaces at the memory. “Then Ridley would go away for a few hours and I’d be stuck there in this table with spaghetti everywhere and milk all over my face. It really stank under the lights as you can imagine.”
Ian also loved working with that other visionary director, Terry Gilliam, on both Time Bandits and Brazil.
“I worked with Terry a couple of times. I played Napoleon in Time Bandits and I loved that line where there’s that long speech in about all the little people in history and then he finally slumps down and they get out his arm and it’s gold and this little fellow says: Inne (sic) interesting? That always made me laugh.”
While sci-fi fans knew him from high profile features, one of his favourite moments was making the TV version of a children’s classic.
“My big special effects experience was The Borrowers,” he remarked (a year before signing up for The Lord of the Rings). “That was very difficult acting in front of blue screens and you have to be rather good at mime. Crossing stepping stones over a river or whatever and there’s absolutely nothing there. They put everything in afterwards as you know. It’s very complicated I don’t quite know why they do it.”
Was Holm disappointed he didn’t get to star in the recent John Goodman remake?
“I wasn’t asked to do it,” he sighed. “It was the same outfit as well which is what was so extraordinary.”
Zombie films, if you’ll excuse the pun, have been done to death. We’ve had every variation under the sun, from the classic George Romero offerings to meta comedies like Shaun of the Dead, and even Cockneys vs Zombies.
Jim Jarmusch has never been a director to go down the conventional route, so his take on the genre is a welcome breath of fresh air.
Bill Murray and Adam Driver are cops in a generic American town where the dead are coming back to life. No surprise there, but it’s good to see how the reanimated corpses are dispatched. Naturally they unleash grisly havoc, but are destroyed with clouds of dust emanating from their wounds.
A running gag throughout the movie is the theme song, which is given an undue amount of attention. It feels like a massive in-joke between the cast and composer, but the viewer is left in the dark.
Jarmusch spins several strands in his story, so little wonder it feels like he’s setting up a TV series or series of films. However, the third act feels like a massive let down as the unnaturally cool Adam Driver faces his fate, buoyed by a key bit of knowledge gleaned before the movie, while poor old Bill Murray is left in the dark. When a film is this meta, you wonder why bother? Jarmusch clearly loves the genre but also sends it up, opting for an offbeat pay-off for Tilda Swinton’s sword-wielding Scottish undertaker. (Never has an actor looked more like the embodiment of Michael Moorcock’s fantasy legend Elric, whether by design or coincidence).
With no end of familiar faces, including Iggy Pop, Selena Gomez, Tom Waits, Chloe Sevigny, Carol Kane and more, there’s plenty of talent on board. But I’ll re-emphasise that earlier point. This should really be a Netflix series which sees all those peripheral characters given the storyline they deserve. (The same is true of the Coen brothers’ Hail, Caesar!). But while TDDD doesn’t slot into the typical pigeonhole of zombie comedy, it is a lot of fun, not least because Murray, Driver and Swinton are so compelling.
Starring Sadie Scott, Isabelle Barbier and Deeksha Ketar Directed by Emily Cohn By Roger Crow/@RogerCrow
End-of-the-year celebrations are underway at a small liberal arts college in Ohio. The night’s main event? A ’Crush party’. The rules? Submit your crush and they get an invite. Or if you’re “crushed,” you also get an invite.
Izzy Alden is a virginal self-conscious freshman and the crush party is her last chance to do something about it before summer. Her best friends Anuka and Fiona help Izzy on her mission to score as they pursue romantic interests of their own.
In true millennial fashion, social media plays mediator as the young women chase their crushes in real life and online. With its catchy tunes, snappy editing and likeable cast, this is one of those teen comedies that ticks all the usual boxes. It’s obviously the debut feature of a director whose previous shorts clearly impressed producers. Each scene is bursting with wit and energy, and the use of 8-bit style animation give us an idea of where the protagonists are or going to. It’s just the sort of thing Edgar Wright did so effectively in Scott Pilgrim vs the World.
Though director Bo Burnham did a better job with Eighth Grade, this should touch a chord with anyone who lives their life on social media. How long they last before defaulting to their tablets and hash tagging CRSHD like their lives depend on it is anyone’s guess. I’ll admit I was about 20 minutes in before getting a tad bored and checking my mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook then back to Twitter again, just in case anyone posted anything interesting in the minute since I last checked it.
Sadie Scott (reminiscent of Stranger Things’ Maya Hawke) is definitely a face for the future, while Isabelle Barbier and Deeksha Ketar are just as watchable. And there are plenty of peripheral characters who are just as likeable, including the obligatory stoner dude bursting with dumb charisma.
There’s plenty of primary colours to engage the viewer, and the inevitable on-screen texting keeps things ticking over. But for all its visual gags and snappy pacing, there’s not a lot to it at all. Which is fine. Things are far too serious these days and a comedy with the substance of candy floss is a welcome diversion.
Writer/director Emily Cohn is clearly a talented filmmaker, and though not perfect, Crshd isn’t a bad debut. Or to use the vernacular of the movie “Deep like”.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to see if anyone has ’liked’ my animated meme of Annie Walker’s face on an AT AT-Walker strolling past the Rover’s Return. I really need to get out more.
Starring Daniel Tadesse, Iveta Pole, Laurie Lagle Directed by Miguel Llanso (Unrated) By Roger Crow/@RogerCrow
Two CIA agents enter a virtual reality world to wipe out a virus, encountering killer flies, an Irish-accented Joseph Stalin and Jesus Christ himself. That’s the premise behind director Miguel Llanso’s heady mix of Cold War paranoia, the dystopian world of Philip K Dick, and 1960s exploitation cinema. Imagine if Inception were made by the guys behind Napoleon Dynamite and The Greasy Strangler, while the score was from the team who composed the best Game Boy soundtracks, and that gives you some idea of the tone. Or maybe not. This is not one of those films where the plot matters, but the style is everything.
Truly bizarre, in a good way
The weird stop motion live action effects in which our heroes wear masks of Richard Pryor and Robert Redford are mesmerising, and it also handily gets round the dubbing issue. If you’re a fan of eighties and nineties tech, such as 8-bit games, Macintosh SE/30s, and the like, then this will remind you of those pioneering tech days. The use of dial-up modem instantly gives you that late-nineties feel, and while the plot might not be up to much, it’s never dull.
It also boasts the best closing titles of the year, not that you can read the ZX81-themed graphics. I half expected Manic Miner to appear, but there was probably a rights issue that nixed such an idea. It’s truly like nothing you’ve seen, and though the plot might be all over the place and the cast are okay, full marks for effort. I’d rather see something this erratic but inventive than a by-the-numbers spy thriller any day of the week. I wouldn’t be too surprised if Miguel Llanso was hired by Hollywood to make a more coherent version for the mainstream market. And if he does, hopefully he’ll turn Daniel Tadesse into a star. He deserves it.
Nostalgiahhh 